I hope no man is shaped like this.
While in a Yeouido Park bathroom, I looked to my left while standing at the urinal and noticed yet another one of Korean’s many hilarious signs. Therefore, I took pictures.
Korean man and woman + full body condom = high five
For the last few weeks, I have been singing “Never Going To Give You Up” by Rick Roll at work and basically everywhere I go ad nauseum. This has been both humorous and annoying to the people I am working with or hanging out with at the time.
So, it was hysterical that when Justin, Dan, Kevin, and I were in Yeouido Park, a Korean version of the song was playing over the park loudspeakers. That’s right, Rick Roll in Korea!
I love hooters and enjoy drinking poisonous monster piss.
In Itaewan, I visited the international grocery store. There, I found one can of Monster energy drink. Just one can. It tasted like heaven might taste, that is if heaven tastes like masterful goodness. In Itaewan, I was also visited by a group of Hooters girls (yes, there are Hooters restaurants in South Korea) that did not have big hooters. They gave me a sticker that read “I love Hooters”. In fact, street vendors here sell bras and panties at nearly every subway stop and sometimes on the sidewalks. Hundreds of bras, all of them cup sized A. I was just telling my brother Caleb yesterday that when I get back to America, boobs are going to freak me out. I am going to see them and be like, “What are these flabby chest rolls you call breasts?” Anyways, Koreans have no idea what the word “hooters” means. To them, it means nothing or they may equate it to chicken wings.
If only Santana cristal actually existed.
If you have ever heard the song “I’m On a Boat” by Incredibad (Andy Samberg and co. are my heroes) then this picture will rock your world, just like the song rocked mine. Too bad it was too cold to wear my flippy floppies and I am not in shape enough to do “flips and shit”.
P.S. If you have no idea what I am talking about, go to Youtube.com and search for the song “I’m On a Boat” by Incredibad. It’s a hilarious spoof of the ridiculousness of hip hop and the genre’s extreme hedonism.
Hey guys and girls-
I thought that you may want to see more photos of Korea and my adventures. I only post a small portion of the photos I take on my blog. If you have Facebook and want to check out more of my adventures in photos, below are a list of places I have visited and links to the pictures…
Yeouido:
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?cropsuccess&id=30807922#/album.php?aid=2251407&id=30807922
Seoul Grand Park Zoo:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2251400&id=30807922
Han River ferry boat ride:
http://www.facebook.com/photos.php?id=30807922#/album.php?aid=2251439&id=30807922
Ganghwa Island:
http://www.facebook.com/photos.php?id=30807922#/album.php?aid=2249500&id=30807922&op=6
Hwaseong Fortress:
http://www.facebook.com/photos.php?id=30807922#/album.php?aid=2247273&id=30807922&op=6
Changgyeonggung Palace and St. Patty’s Day Parade:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2247272&id=30807922&op=6
Seafood Market:
Gyeongbokgung Palace and Seoul Tower:
63 Building
Today, the Originals + 1 ventured to Yeouido (Justin, Dan, and I plus Kevin. Kevin is like the touring guitarist, but doesn’t record with us in the studio). I almost didn’t go because I have been unable to visit a doctor yet and have such a bad sinus infection, I am unable to breath out of my nose and feel tired and weak. However, I refused to miss the trip and will hopefully see a doctor tomorrow.
March of the Penguins, or should I say, "The march of the Originals + 1 as we walk around Yeouido for 7 hours."
We visited Yeouido Park, 63 Building, went on a boat ride in the Han River, went to the Sky Art observation deck in 63 Building, and visited Sea World which was also a part of 63 Building.
The view on the boat.
Sea horse
63 Building is the tallest building in Korea. It houses a Sea World, which has over 20,000 different sea creatures. It also has an observation deck called Sky Art. In the observation deck area is all kinds of paintings and other kinds of creative art.
Puffer fish at the aquarium.
The Han River runs right through the heart of Seoul. The government here has decided to do construction along the entirety of the river to make it look natural again because now it is all concrete retention walls. They are in the process of tearing up all the concrete and planting trees and different kinds of native plants that live near rivers. We took a ferry boat ride in the river. It was the first time we have been on water since arriving in Korea.
View from the Sky Art observation deck in 63 Building.
The boat we road on.
Cherry blossoms
Yeouido Park is a large, long park that runs along some of the main roads in the suburb of Yeouido. There are two different biological forests, one of them being full of native Korean plant life. We saw some rabbits (first animals we have seen in the wild other than birds and a few stray cats) and walked down a path along some blossoming cherry trees and crab apple trees.
Area for riding bikes and excercising at Yeouido Park.
This trip was our most expensive adventure yet, clocking in at 30,000 won or roughly $22 U.S. dollars. It was well worth it.
Roar
Today, I went to Seoul Grand Park Zoo with Kammy. We saw lions and tigers and bears, oh my! The weather was a bit on the cold side, so we kind of rushed through the second half of the zoo, but I still had quite a lot of fun. There was a lift that took us up the mountain that the zoo sat next to, going over the zoo itself. Then, we walked back down the mountain through the zoo.
Kammy apparently hates her picture being taken. I had to beg her to take a few pictures of/with her. As she and I were on the lift, she was blocking her face from her camera. Ironically, we passed another couple coming down on the other side of the lift and a Korean man was trying to take a picture with his Korean girlfriend and she was covering her face too and giggling histerically.
Reminded me of Madagascar.
The lift
Kammy: "Seriously, I hate my picture being taken."
Kammy and I
I met Kammy through my friend Ricki. Kammy is 23 and is a nurse. She also teaches Korean to English speakers on Tuesday nights. She took me to the Seoul Grand Park Zoo and plans to teach me Korean.
Kammy nearly cried after I took her picture, so no more pictures of her.
I have had a rough week or so with a few different things here in Korea, but everything seemed to come to a head yesterday, on Friday. This at least allows me the weekend to recuperate. A week or so ago, I came down with a cough. I posted that I was sick as a dog. I took lots of medication and felt better for a bit. My cough turned into the sniffles. Those sniffles turned into a sore throat. At one point, I had trouble swallowing. But, very soon afterwards, my sore throat recided. Then, on Wednesday, I went out to lunch and had beef soup. The beef soup gave me food poisoning. I had explosive digestive tract problems and didn’t eat for 24 hours, as I felt like I was going to die and/or vomit if food were to touch my lips. Game over for the sickness? Nope. I woke up yesterday with an extremely clogged nose. This time, my snot is green (T.M.I., I know, but imperative to this story). I thought to myself, “Sweet mother! I have a sinus infection now?! Frack!!!” I get paid on Monday, so I plan on going to a doctor and getting some antibiotics and finally destroying this virus for good. For the time being, I find myself hacking and blowing constantly. I got the raw nose syndrome and the voice of Lil Wayne or Kermit.
But, my yesterday gets even better. Yeah, I know, how could it possibly get any better, right? The students here in Korea in Hogwans (private, English teaching schools) are OUT OF CONTROL. I have been stabbed in the genitals three times now with a pencil. One of the children’s favorite past-times is to take their index finger and poke me in my butthole (also T.M.I., but this is an every-other-day occurrence). I have had a student pull the hood of another student’s coat over his head and drag the boy across the floor, choking him with his own coat. I had girls jumping over the table and fighting with each other because one of the girls accused the other of stealing her eraser, when she had dropped it on the floor under her chair and hadn’t noticed while I was trying to teach the class vocabulary. This is only about an eighth my crazy student stories, but as you can see, it is out of control.
So, I decided to start taking commanding control of my classrooms with forceful speech (yelling “be quiet” over the rumble of the classroom), removing students from class and having my co-teacher, Anna, call their parents right then and their (this makes the children cry because they can’t believe I would actually not put of with their abundant shit), and throwing one of the girl’s pencil cases on the ground who was literally fighting over the “stolen” eraser. This sounds harsh, but imagine being in the middle of having the students repeat words like “hawk” and “straw” and having girls screaming at each other in Korean at each other while the rest of the class is either egging them on in Korean or using this out of control time to act like monkeys. I have found that removing students from class and calling their parents and yelling does work, otherwise most of the students don’t listen to me.
Yesterday doesn't seem so far away.
Anyways, one of the kids went to their parents and accused me of kicking a chair in one of the rooms and some of the girls said they are scared of me. Gossip is rampant amongst women in Korea (where in the world is gossip not rampant, especially in women’s social circles?). So, the mothers started to call other mothers, who then called the school and said that they don’t like me and that their children are afraid of me. My supervisor Maryland sat me down and asked me why after 6 weeks, I am starting to get parent complaints because I have never gotten any complaints before. I said, “Well, there is no discipline at this school. The Korean teachers baby the children. Anna has even taken girls from my class who feign sickness and gives them hugs and blankets. I have been stabbed in the penis with a pencil not once, not twice, but three times. I have had kids swear at me in Korean. I have been called a pig. What can I do about it? Absolutely nothing! In America, we have detentions or a point system for behavior. We have prizes for the kids who behave. We give extra work to those who don’t complete their work or act out. Things are out of control and it is not just me who has to yell often and ends up losing their voice by the end of the day (this happens to Justin and Dan also). I am not going to put up with kids who are literally fighting in my class and don’t listen to me.”
My supervisor’s response was that Hogwans are a business, not a school. That I “can’t show emotions” in the classroom and it is about money, not teaching the students English. My reply to this was that these parents are paying hundreds of thousands of won to have their children learn English and the ones that actually care can’t learn correctly because at least half the kids are out of control. Her response to this was that is how it is in Korea and there is nothing I can do about it. To just teach the classes and not show emotion.
Maryland said that she would have to sit in on all of my classes yesterday and observe the children and see how out of control they are. This idea was absurd in itself because she has never shown her face to any of these kids. They wouldn’t know if she was a parent or another teacher. So, they would act afraid of her. It would skew my supervisor’s perception of how the students actually behave.
But, to top everything off, my co-teacher Anna, passed out 10 minutes before classes began yesterday. That’s right, she stood up out of her office chair and crumpled to the ground. She was rushed to the hospital. I have no idea why she passed out, but she had been saying she didn’t feel good just a few minutes prior to passing out. Needless to say, Maryland my supervisor, had to fill in for Anna’s classes all day and couldn’t sit in on my classes. This, of course, was both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, my co-teacher was ill and on the other, I didn’t have to deal with the eagle eye of my “business as usual” supervisor in all of my classes.
I will stand by my ideals and stick with actually caring about these kid’s education. I don’t buy the whole “this is about money” deal. It may be about money to my supervisor, but she is not the one sitting in my class getting stabbed in the junk with pencils.
I will end this long post with a positive nugget. Last night, I went out to Beomgye station (a few blocks from work) and had dinner with some of my coworkers. Two of my Korean coworkers went with us, which came as a surprise to most of us. We ate Korean barbeque, which I will post about someday, went to a lounge bar, then went to Club Slang and danced. After going back to the apartments, a group of us sat in our co-teacher Kevin’s room and watched some ridiculous late-night Korean television, listened to Flight of the Concords, and talked about random things. It was a nice night. If only I could breath out of my nose, though.
"Justin Teacher is bald." (and he makes babies cry, apparently)
I hope Justin doesn’t get mad if he ever reads this, but I thought it was quite possibly the funniest thing that happened at school all week long. The students in some of his classes were given an assignment in which they were to write sentences for certain vocabulary words. One of the words was “bald”. Now, I would venture to guess that at least 75% of the time, our Korean students do not understand anything more than the phonetic sounds each word makes. As a teacher, I could have them repeat the word “smoke” a thousand times and explain to them that fire makes smoke, drawing pictures of a chimney on a house or a campfire surrounded by campers. They would repeat the word smoke, but most of them, if not all, would not comprehend that smoke is something created by fire. So, when Justin received this particular assignment back from one of his students, he tapped me on the shoulder whilst I sat at my desk and made me read one of the sentences. It read: “Justin Teacher is bald.” Justin laughed and as he sat down at this own computer said, “I guess it is good they at least understand the concept, those bastard children.”
